


Slow Down

by RandmWriter



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Fatherly Fluff!, Fluff in the TARDIS, Gen, Softie Doctor!, The Doctor is a Big Marshmallow!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 06:02:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3198125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandmWriter/pseuds/RandmWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't get me wrong - traveling with you has been absolutely amazing... It's just that - when all is said and done... don't you just want to go home?"</p><p> </p><p>The old traveller sighed heavily. If only she knew...</p><p> </p><p>"All the time..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slow Down

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Guys! So... this is a bit AU... in this the Doctor actually DID destroy Gallifrey (or thought that he did... somehow)! Just a little reminder!
> 
> And now to the story! GERONIMOOOO!!!!

         

"Mind if I join you?" The Doctor asked, walking up to the doorframe of the TARDIS.

(Name) smiled up at the Time Lord from where she sat on the floor.

"Not at all. Be my guest," the teen said - then turned back to the view.  It was breathtaking, really. The Andromeda Galaxy, in all its glory. Swirling clusters of color drifted by - their light illuminating the inky darkness of space. Stars shone left and right - each another galaxy waiting to be explored. She observed it all with a smile on her face - eyes shining with a type of wonder only a child could possess.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice the Doctor sit down next to her.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" he asked, snapping her back to reality.

"Beautiful? It's absolutely fantastic!"

The older man chuckled a bit at the statement - reminded of his previous catchphrase.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked. "It's quite late where you're from."

"Couldn't sleep. Watching the stars usually helps," she replied, swinging her legs precariously over the edge of the age-old machine.

A comfortable silence passed between the two inhabitants of the TARDIS - both content with watching the stars go by.

"We're in the Andromeda Galaxy, aren't we?" (Name) asked. The Doctor hummed in response, still staring at the infinite array of color before him.

"Wow," she breathed - leaning her head against the wooden doorframe. "We're so close to home."

Her older companion raised an eyebrow at this.

"Close? We're two million, five hundr-"

"Yes, yes - I know," she said, eyes still fixed to the view outside. "We're millions of light years away. Still - we've been to galaxies on the other end of the universe. The Andromeda is practically the Milky Way's next door neighbor. Relatively speaking - we're close."

The Doctor sighed, choosing not to argue with his partner's reasoning. He knew what was going on, for the feeling far from new to him. The way her shoulders drooped ever so slightly, and the way her eyes had changed from enthusiastic to distant...

It was an emotion he was all too familiar with.

"You're homesick, aren't you?" he said, not requring the answer.

(Name) fixed him with a surprised expression. She fell silent for a while, as if acknowledging the fact that she  _did_  miss her home.

"Am I really that easy to read?" She asked a few seconds later.

"No," the Doctor responded. "It's just that... it takes one to know one."

"Don't get me wrong - traveling with you has been absolutely amazing," she said - voice laced with sadness.

"It's just that - when all is said and done... don't you just want to go home?"

The old traveller sighed heavily. If only she knew...

"All the time..." 

The girl nodded, accepting his answer and turning back to the view. The Time Lord did the same, but his expression was contemplative - as if formulating a plan in his mind.

"Tell you what," he said, his voice soft as he turned to his young charge. "Tomorrow we'll go to Earth, eat chips and do earthly things. Sound good?"

(Name) turned to him, and hesitated before answering.

"Don't you have a schedule to keep?"

"I'm a madman in a flying blue box, that can quite literally travel through space and time - I have no schedules!"

The younger of the two broke into a full fledged grin at the prospect of visiting her planet. Without warning, (Name) hugged the Time Lord, who was too shocked to respond.

"Thank you," she mumbled into his shoulder, before squeezing him once more, and pulling away.

The spark in her eyes almost instantly returned - all trace of previous sadness, gone.

The same, though, could not be said for the Doctor. His expression was stark contrast to that of his companion’s. His eyes were dark as he looked out distantly into the unknown.

Knowing the silence too well, (Name) sighed.

“Alright, your turn,” she said, turning to the Time Lord. “What’s wrong?”

The older man gave her a genuinely confused expression.

"What do you mean?"

"That look. You're doing the look again," she answered, gesturing to his face.

"What look? I am perfectly fine," he replied, almost stubbornly.

"Oh no," she said, holding her hand up - effectively silencing him. "Don't start that. There is a very fine line between your facial expressions, and I know that's not the usual 'Mr. Grumpy Face'. No - right now that's the 'I-want-to-tell-you-something-about-my-tragic-backstory-but-I-won't-because-I-can-handle-it-on-my-own' face."

The Doctor was quiet for a few moments - both in awe and in shock at the accuracy of her observation.

"Well," he began. "I  _can_  handle it."

(Name)'s eyes widened almost comically.

"You just admitted I was right," she whispered - as if still processing what had just happened. "Okay, something is definitely wrong."

He didn't respond, but instead turned to look outside once more.

"Doctor?" his companion asked, in a voice akin to that of a worried child.

He knew he couldn't ignore the topic any longer. The Time Lord sighed heavily, and met the teen's concerned gaze.

(Name) couldn't help but move back a little when she saw his eyes - for it was the weariest she'd ever seen them.

It was not the look of a madman who traveled distant lands and saw more wonders than anyone ever would. It was the look of a tortured soul - someone who had been through so much, and wanted nothing but rest. Rest that none could give him.

And for the first time in a long time, she was struck speechless.

"(Name)," the Doctor said - even his voice, tired. "Do you know where I'm from? My home planet?"

The girl shook her head minutely.

He took a deep breath - as if bracing himself.

"I'm from Gallifrey. Home of the Time Lords."

The confused companion nodded.

"Okay... Well then, what's wrong? Why don't we go there right now?"

Her question was innocent enough, but the Doctor couldn't ignore the twinge he felt in both his hearts.

"It's not there anymore," he replied - head bowed and voice barely above a whisper.

"Oh... I'm sorry," she said, but he quickly waved off the apology - still not meeting her gaze.

"No, it's not your fault. If it's anyone's, it's mine," he said quietly.

"Why?" (Name) asked.

She immediately regretted her question when she saw her companion's face fall even further.

_ 'Great job (Name). Just perfect. You've just officially depressed a thousand year old Time Lord! New achievement unlocked! Pop out the confetti!" _

"You know, I think it's better if I just go," the teen said, standing up and letting out a real yawn. "Like you said, it's late. I'm gonna hit the hay."

She waited for some form of acknowledgement from the older man. When she recieved none, she took it as her leave to go.

"Right. Well, see you tomorrow Doc."

The girl turned around, and proceeded to walk to her room as she mentally berated herself.

_'Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did I have to ask him?  Why did I have to open my mouth? I just made it worse didn't I? Sometimes I can be such a-'_

"Do you know why I travel the stars, (Name)?" The Doctor asked suddenly - still not facing the retreating figure.

The girl in question stopped in her tracks. She turned on her heel to face the Time Lord. Well... his back anyway.

"No, I don't think you have," she replied, still a bit confused at the abrupt change in conversation.

"Do you want to know why?"

"Do you want to tell me why?"

She made her way to where she sat moments ago - rubbing a bit of drowsiness from her eyes and stifling a yawn. She could tell he wanted to get something off his chest, so she would be there to listen.

What are friends for, right?

She sat down next to him, looking at the view.

_ 'Ugh. I have to stay awake. Stars aren't what I need right now.' _

As she was thinking, silence reigned over the TARDIS. Nothing but the constant hum of the ancient machine could be heard - and even that was a bit quieter than usual. It was as if the old girl could notice the subdued atmosphere, and tried her best to keep quiet.

(Name) didn't make a sound. She was afraid to again say the wrong thing, and further upset the already gloomy Time Lord.

The young companion knew there were times when she couldn't catch on quick enough before she said things that made the situation worse. She knew she could be naive, or insensitive, or just downright rude - but when it came to comforting or listening to someone, she knew what she had to do.

And so, she kept silent - only having one statement on her mind:

_ 'Whenever you're ready.' _

As if hearing her mental message, the Doctor took a deep breath, and as he stared at the passing galaxies - began.

"Long ago, something happened that threatened the whole of the universe, and reality itself. Something that wreaked havoc amongst planets and brought out the worst in races. It turned the innocent into barbarians - making a monster out of almost everyone." "It was called 'The Time War'."

He swallowed hard, and continued.

"I fought for my planet as it was invaded by Daleks. I saw many of my friends fall at the hands of those heartless machines. I saw many innocent people die, men, women, and even children."

"And I knew they wouldn't stop with Gallifrey. No, they were bred to destroy everything that wasn't Dalek - because they recognized only themselves as the superior beings - and everything inferior had to be destroyed," the Doctor spat out these words with such hate and anger - voice increasing in volume.

"In the end, it came down to an impossible choice. I had to choose whether to destroy my own planet or save the universe."

"And that, (Name), that is the reason why it's not there anymore. I knew I had made the choice for the greater good - but that doesn't mean I didn't hurt anyone."

"I  _killed_ my own race," he said, with such a great amout of self-loathing, that no one should be able to posses.

But he wasn't done yet.

"I've destroyed families. I've killed people - both guilty and innocent. I've asked those who weren't even involved to help me - and they got hurt in the process. All because some selfish old man happened to meet them.

Do you see now, (Name)? I don't travel the stars. I'm not a person who wanders the universe. I am  _running._  I'm running away from what I did. I want nothing more than stop all this. Nothing more than to  _rest_  - but I can't!"

By now he was already on the verge of shouting.

"I need to keep going - because I think if I do enough things right, I can start to make up for what I did.

My title 'The Last of the Time Lords' is one I created for myself - and one I wish I  _never_  had!

I am  _not_  a hero. I'm a coward - running from a past I know I can never outrun," he said, his tone shifting to one of defeat.

"I'm nothing. Nothing but a homeless wanderer in a flying blue box... " the Doctor finished, voice trailing off.

Everything was unnaturally quiet. By now he had expected the beggining of a motivating speech, or a comforting hug, even - as was the wont of most people he told his story to.

There was nothing.

His angered expression changed to a more neutral one.

"Are you afraid of me now, (Name)?"

He wasn't surprised. It wasn't the first time one of his companions was mortified at the knowledge of what he had done.

He recieved naught but a snore in response. 

Wait.

What?

His brow furrowed at the sound.

"(Name)?" he asked, finally looking at his youngest partner.

He wasn't met with an expression of fear or a sympathetic look.

No, this was something new altogether.

(First Name) (Last Name) was sleeping.

**_ Sleeping. _ **

Her cheek was smushed against the doorframe of the TARDIS. Her eyes were closed and she was snoring rather soundly.

The Doctor blinked.

And blinked again.

And again.

He couldn't really believe what he was seeing.

The drowsy teen had fallen asleep in the middle of the Time Lord's sorrowful story.

The Doctor knew he should be offended. It was positively  _rude_  to nod off when someone was confiding their inner demon with you.

And yet he couldn't help but be amused.

He couldn't supress his chuckle at the fact that someone had fallen asleep in the midst of his shouting - which was a great feat in itself.

_ 'Maybe it just doesn't matter to her,' _   he thought.

The girl - wise beyond her years - had reached the conclusion the Doctor had been looking for all this time.

_ 'The past does not matter - but the future does.' _

Maybe that was the reason the (Hair Color)-haired teen had fallen asleep.

Yes - he liked to think that.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard (Name) give another snore.

The companion’s face slid off the wooden doorframe, and fell forward.

She would have fallen off the side of the TARDIS, and into the infinite expanse of space, if it were not for the Doctor's swift reflexes.

He managed to grab hold of her shoulders - pulling her back to safety.

The Time Lord gripped her like that for a moment - thinking of a less awkward way to hold the child without rousing her - as she was still fast asleep.

_ 'You could just wake her,' _  a voice in his mind suggested, but the idea was quickly dismissed.

He couldn't. He didn't have the heart to wake her.

Call it sentiment or whatever you will, but right now, the old traveller couldn't help but be reminded of his own children when looking at (Name). It was a simple display of innocence - the type only the young could have. It was something the universe sorely needed more of.

He couldn't hold her by the shoulders, and he didn't want to wake her up.

That left only one option.

Something he hadn't done since he was still a father.

Ever so slowly, he gently guided her down to the side. He settled her, so her head rested comfortably on his lap.

As if by reflex, the teen's body shifted to a comfier position - lying on her side.

The Doctor smiled at the familliar action.

Though he knew what was to come, he still couldn't help but stiffen when his companion reached out, and hugged his arm.

He knew most children did the same, but it still reminded him so much of his own.

He missed them terribly, it hurt - but now he had his companion. She wasn't the same as his own offsprings - but in this moment - she was what he needed.

He cautiously laid his hand on her shock of hair, and within seconds of doing so, he flowed into the familliar action of gently stroking the (Hair Color) strands.

A few moments passed in comfortable silence.

"I see my story worked. A bedtime story always helps, doesn't it (Name)?" the Time Lord said to no one in particular.

He looked down fondly at his young charge.

"Not your typical tale, I grant you, but it worked, nonetheless."

As if replying, the teen mumbled incoherently, and shifted in her sleep. The Doctor became uncharacteristically worried he had woken her, after trying to keep her in Morpheus' embrace.

"Doct...r," she muttered.

The said Time Lord leaned down to hear her better.

"Yes, (Name)?" he asked quietly.

"H's s'ch a twat,"

Both of the Doctor's eyebrows shot up into his hairline at the statement.

He was about to fire off a witty remark, but before he could respond, the companion began to sleep-talk once more.

"G'd twat tho'"

The unusual statement had caught him off guard, and silenced whatever reply he had come up with.

The Doctor had been complimented many times. He had been called brilliant, clever, fantastic, and even magnificent - but for some godforsaken reason, the profanity had warmed both his Time Lord hearts in a way the others never could.

The corners of his mouth twitched up into a genuine smile.

(Name) had fallen sound asleep once more, and the Doctor resumed stroking her hair. He was thankful she didn't drool on his lap.

That would have been most unpleasant.

"All right, perhaps I won't toss you off the TARDIS for your little insult, just this once."

If she had heard him, or if it was just a spontaneous action - the Doctor didn't know. All he knew was that his young companion had snuggled into his lap, a content smile on her face.

One that matched that of the Time Lord's.

"I don't think I've ever told you about the time I went to Raxacoricofallapatorius..." he began, launching into the story of how he had - in his words - "brilliantly prevented the extinction of the species with a corn cob and a shoelace".

He told her of distant lands and fascinating species, and - more to himself than her - silently promised to show his beloved companion all he was saying.

So there - on the edge of an old time machine, in a place far away - a traveller and his companion floated aimlessly amongst the stars.

It was nice to slow down for once...

 

**Author's Note:**

> TADA! First A03 Contribution!
> 
> *Dances the jig with exploding fireworks in the background because non-exploding fireworks are lame*
> 
> Soooo... what did you guys thing! Please leave a comment below (unless they edit this website and comments are moved somewhere else!)! They're like huggles! I love huggles! =3
> 
> -RW =)


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